An Issue of Control
by
ArLyne Diamond, Ph.D.
Whether Outsourcing, Managing, Teaching or Parenting – the issue
of control, how much, how little, when and where to let go is one of the most
critical questions plaguing the person in the position of leadership – and irking
the recipient of that control.
What are your needs to control or to be controlled. Are you afraid of letting go? Or do you suspect that if you let go
completely you won’t get blamed if things go wrong? Or, are you wise enough to treat the issue of
control on a case-by-case – person-by-person basis?
One of my favorite little tests is the FIRO-B which measures
several things including the desire to control and/or be controlled. Obviously for each individual there are
differences – and differences at different times or under different
circumstances.
However, businesses must make decisions as entities and have
their management implement those decisions effectively. Let’s look at some of the areas in which
these decisions have to be made – and for the fun of it – let’s include
teachers and parents.
Outsourcing
One of the major decisions facing all organizations is what
to keep and what to outsource. The
experts tell us only to keep our “core competencies” and to outsource all else –
but many fear that the more outsourced, the more the loss of control.
Should we do the work in-house where we have (or at least
have the perception of) complete control – or knowing these products/services
aren’t our core competencies, outsource them to experts accustomed to handling
them?
Should we have in-house sales people or work with
distributors?
What about lawyers, accountants, and other professional
experts that are not needed full time?
If you are to outsource, your controls exist in the
contractual relationship you establish as well as in the actual
person-to-person relationships you develop.
The contract allows for litigation (or alternative dispute resolution)
should things go really bad, but resorting to this is a last-resort.
Now if thinking about money as a motivator the answers are:
If they are selling something for you, the obvious is to make their commission
structure more worthwhile than they are receiving from others they serve. If professional experts, or manufacturing
experts, the obvious is to pay them more.
But money is only a threshold motivator.
You need to get them to like you better than they like the
others they serve. Relationship building
becomes the key answer. You need to
build rapport, trust, and a mutual desire to have win/win relationships with
all the people involved from the outsourced company. They need to put you first – before all the
other companies they serve.
Control exists within the relationship – not because of an
authoritarian structure.
Managing
Finding the perfect balance between micro-managing and abrogating
responsibility is often quite difficult.
It’s so easy to micro-manage when you have the skills and experience to
do the job you are asking others to do.
Sometimes you even get itchy fingers, dying to get in and get it
done. Sometimes even, managing takes you
away from what you love doing – which is the work itself.
On the other hand, there are those who say, “you figure it
out” – expecting people who don’t have that level of knowledge, understanding,
or experience to find a process to accomplish something themselves. This is being too loose – this is actually
abrogating responsibility.
Then there is the quandary about how to deal with employees
new to you – but having gained experience someplace else – they may even have
earned more money, or have a higher title than you. How do you manage them? Do you just leave them alone and cross your
fingers, hoping for the best?
I teach a funnel theory of management.
At the very bottom of the funnel is tight
control and at its top very loose control.
I believe that in a new management – managee relationship, control
should be tight. This is so you and the
person being managed get to understand each other’s style, language, means of
communicating and perception of excellence and success. There is a learning curve that takes time to
accomplish. This is true even for the
experienced employee new to your group or company.
If you start with loose control and find yourself having to
tighten it, you are punishing the other person and leaving them feeling
criticized and demeaned. Whereas the opposite
is true when you start to loosen control – that feels like trust, a compliment
and creates good feelings and higher motivation.
Obviously, with people who are new to the work it is helpful
to help them in the beginning and to watch what they are capable of achieving
on their own – thus again starting with tight control and loosening it as your
charge becomes more adept at not only doing the work, but also in understanding
you, your values, your style of communication and the company’s needs.
Just one quick example – often new startups hire someone’s
wife, sister, or friend to be “the administrator” – leaving this person to set
up all systems for bookkeeping, inventory control, filing, benefits, etc. Yes, this is an intelligent woman who is
quite capable of maintaining all these activities – but is she an experienced
office manager, accountant, administrator, etc., who knows how to set up the
most effective processes and systems? Probably
not. That’s where you hire someone (like
me) to set everything up and train your new administrator and no doubt she will
prove to be a shining star…. Instead of someone having to work twice as hard to
accomplish something because of a less than ideal system/process.
Teaching
Some years ago I attended a conference called “Engineering
Education Unbound”. I was the only
non-engineering faculty member or dean at the conference. This was when on-line education was just in
its infancy. The major issue at the
conference – the fear – from most – almost all – of the faculty was that they
would lose control if they allowed students to work at their own pace, and
self-test.
Today, of course we take on-line learning for granted. We haven’t lost control – we’ve given more
responsibility to students to learn what pace works best for them. We’ve freed up faculty time to be more
responsive to the unusual, the creative, the extra-ordinary – and of course, to
be available to answer student questions.
Self-testing enables students to quickly learn what they have already
mastered and what additional reading or practicing they need to do.
It’s enhanced education for students and faculty.
Even in the classroom teachers can turn over pacing to the
students – can give them a range of work from which to choose for earning
points towards their grade – and can allow a full range of self-exploration as
well as self-testing. Think about the
Montessori style of teaching for example.
Now, self-testing does not imply that students choose their
own grade. There are times whether it be
at the final, or quarterly, or whenever is reasonable, that the test be a
formal one, not intended as self-help.
Teacher doesn’t lose control.
Parenting
As by now you have guessed, I advocate and teach a funnel
theory of parenting. Children need to
learn how to make choices and take responsibility for those choices. Thus, over-controlling creates hot-house
flowers who are not successful as adults.
Abrogating responsibility often leads to children being overly-needy
and/or acting out.
So, let’s start with simple choices. Even a two year old can decide whether he
wants toast or toaster waffles. A three
year old can choose between three possible outfits to wear the next day. A five year old can be taught what type of
clothing is school appropriate and can select her outfit for the next day (with
some possible veto power by Mom.)
If little choices are made by little tykes, as they age they
can make bigger and more important choices.
The seven year old can accompany Mom to the store and select outfits
from the several selected for her by Mom.
He can also help decide what’s for dinner tonight.
Think about play-dates, or birthday parties. If every moment is supervised by adults,
children make no choices – they are like little robots going along with the
plans. What if there were general
activities for them to do, but they were allowed to negotiate when those were
being done and who had what role? Look
at what they could learn.
The teenager can help decide what clothing is necessary for
the next school season. Does she need a
new jacket, or will the old one do so that she can use the money for more
pretty tops? Get my point. By the funnel theory of allowing children to
make decisions, little by little they learn and can make bigger and more
complicated decisions – even important ones.
I grew up in The Bronx – a city kid whose mother
worked. My friends and I were loosely
supervised by some of the Moms more carefully watching the younger kids. We learned how to make the rules of the game
ourselves, how to negotiate, how to deal with disagreement, different
personalities and conflict. There was no
adult supervision or interference – except in the case of a major accident with
a lot of blood.
Because boys and girls played together we learned how to
pick our dates – and husbands – wisely.
We weren’t fooled by superficial charm.
Conclusion
There is a way to find the balance between too much and too
little control. The lessons learned about parenting apply to teaching and
managing. These lessons also make for
more positive and successful outsourcing relationships.
It takes awareness, powers of observation, and the ability
to slowly test giving more freedom and responsibility. If done properly everyone benefits. It takes building trust, rapport, and a
mutual understanding of needs/wants and values.
It works! Try it.
Labels: control, managing, outsourcing, parenting, responsibility, teaching
