The sanitizing of America

Between complaints of micro-aggression and complaints of harassment we are demanding that everyone behave perfectly at all times, and never say or do anything that might hurt the feelings of another person.  We are sanitizing our behaviors, words and even to some extent our thoughts.  No political disagreement possible.

This frightens me.  I strongly concur that we need to stop bullying, abusing and taking advantage of  people who are more vulnerable than those who aggress agains them.

But to have someone lose their job because they made an inappropriate remark?

To have someone sanctioned because they had a thought that disagreed with the more popular points of view?

These demands are creating something much worse than THE NANNY STATE - they are crating what Ayn Rand described so vividly in her book ANTHEM.  WE ARE SANITIZING AMERICA

IT'S FRIGHTENING.

Is our compassion killing us?

Imagine that  your uncle came to visit and announced that he was out of a job and a place to live.  He asked for your help for a short amount of time.  Of course you said YES and offered him your guest bedroom.  A few days later his wife and three minor children came - and they too moved in with you and your family.  A week or so later his parents and his wife's parents and their other adult siblings came to live with you too.  None of them worked.  None of them contributed to the household and you were now going broke, not able to take proper care of your own immediate family.

Compassion is a great thing.  It would be wonderful if more people had it.  BUT isn't your responsibility primarily to your own family?  Isn't there a time when you have to kick out all these freeloaders?  It's hard.  Some of them are children.  Some might be disabled.  Yes, it would be incredible if you could take care of them all - and all the others that will follow.

Isn't that what is happening here in California - and elsewhere in the country?

Isn't it true that the more we help people the less they do for themselves?  Isn't it true that the more word gets out about our generosity the more people will and do land on our doorsteps?

How do we change it?  How do we help those really needing our help without encouraging those who probably could work to live "off the dole" as they say in Great Britain. 

How do we stop the influx of those wanting our largess without being cruel?

That is the problem we currently face.

Does sexual harassment training
reduce incidents of harassment?

Since 2005, California employers have been required to conduct a minimum of two hours training in preventing sexual harassment and discrimination for companies with more than 50 employees..  Now, prevention of bullying is mandated to be added to that training. 

Does it do any good?  Some research suggests no it doesn’t.

BUT, which training are they using as their study group?  Is it the typical on-line training conducted by attorneys who share facts and figures and offer scare tactics?  If so, I’d bet it doesn’t make any social or behavioral changes. 

Years ago there was a significant body of research conducted to find out if psycho-therapy worked.  In general the finding was that there was no significant change in the thoughts and behaviors of those receiving therapy.   This was when all therapists were lumped together.  However, there was significant positive change in those clients/patients that were treated by therapists considered to be outstanding by their peers. 

In other words, great therapists produce great results.  Mediocre therapists produce mediocre results – or none that is discernable at all.

I offer you the same theory when evaluating the effectiveness of sexual harassment training.  Who is conducting the training?  What is their background in the ability to communicate in a manner that is effective in changing beliefs and behaviors?  How is the training being conducted?  Is it an on-line education type training – in which case there is no possible interaction or role-playing – or is it a face-to-face training allowing for discussion, questions and new learning to actually take place? 

There is nothing more valuable than face-to-face training conducted by someone who knows how to draw people out, offer examples that resonate with them, and really effect change.

Yes, on-line training saves money.  I too have created on line trainings for Illumeo and Lorman.  They are good because I rely more on examples than statistics or scare tactics, but they are not half as good as my face-to-face training. 

So, do you want to just be in compliance with the law, or do you want to really get your people to understand and accept how certain behaviors are perceived by others. 

You get to decide.  BUT, if as the research shows, on-line training isn’t very effective are you saving pennies but run the risk of losing millions in law-suits?

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My quest for civility

Why can’t we have civil discourse – exchanging our views about ideas and perhaps even learning from each other?  Discussion seems to be a lost art.

I grew up in a family that allowed any and every topic to be discussed at the dinner table – and elsewhere in our home.  There were no taboo topics.  Because of the intellectual freedom provided by our parents, my sister and I were encouraged to study different political points of view and even to visit different houses of worship.

Lucky for me, I acquired a group of friends during my teenage years who also loved discussion of any and all topics.  I called these young men my brothers and loved sitting on the front stoop (ours was the local hangout) talking about philosophy, psychology, politics or religion.  We explored.  We agreed sometimes and disagreed other times.

We NEVER called each other names like stupid or evil or prejudiced.  Nor did we laugh at ideas about which we disagreed.  We argued our point of view, hoping that we were persuasive enough to change a friend’s ideas.

My friends remained my friends.  My family remained my family.  And yes, as I grew older I moved from New York to California and acquired new friends.  Today, my parents are long gone and so my conversations are now with my nieces – both of whom share political points of view vastly different from my own.  That hasn’t stopped me from loving them, or them for loving me.

Our ability to love, to disagree and to share what we believe is a rarity in today’s world that I cherish.  I mourn that it is so rare.

So, I ask – what has changed.  Why is it so difficult for people to disagree civilly?  Why has the college campus – indeed the school room at large – become a “safe space” where only one point of view is allowed and students are “micro-aggressed” against if they offer a contrary point of view?

I think I know some of the reasons – but not all – and certainly I don’[t know, can only speculate about which of these reasons is more important.  I’ll offer you my ideas, and would love to hear from you about yours.

I think:

• ·       Both major political parties are competing to see who has the highest moral ground – and their leaders step on the other point of view to appear bigger.
• ·       There isn’t as much difference in the major parties today so small differences are grossly exaggerated.
• ·       Name calling is a substitute for substantive ideas and argument.
• ·       Safe-spaces and micro-aggression are stifling free speech and making it almost impossible for differing points of view to be explored.
• ·       We are in a sound bite era – the news media reports something, it is copied a zillion times over and whether factual or not, it becomes the prevalent belief.
• ·       Students don’t read anymore – they absorb their limited knowledge from Wikipedia and YouTube.
• ·       Basics like philosophy, comparative religion, and political science are no longer taught – instead all we focus on is STEM.  Thus, there is no foundation for the beliefs that are expounded.
• ·       Emotions not logic wins the day.

What are your thought and how can we change this name calling and ugly polarization? How can we return to people able to disagree, compromise and cooperate?  What must we do  to keep the government rolling smoothly and for us to remain strong and safe?