Getting in Your Own Way

Have you ever looked back at something you were trying to obtain – but failed and recognized that although you know better, you didn’t do what was necessary – what you knew you should have been doing – and thus didn’t get what you sought? 

I have.

I think this blog might easily be re-named:  How I get in my own way.

Let me give you a few classic examples, of things I did wrong or failed to do. Maybe they will trigger your memory of things you need to do better too.

1:  Any sales course emphasizes the importance of asking questions designed to get your potential buyer to reveal their pain points – so you can show them how your service/product can help to heal them. 

I know that! 

So, when recently meeting with the Executive Director of a Community Center, why did I spend the time “teaching” her about some of the background of the organization she just joined?  I used up the time allotted for the meeting without either learning from her about her immediate consulting needs – her pain points – and so, of course I couldn’t ask for the order.

2:  Medical doctors have it easy – they can decline diagnosing someone in a social setting by mentioning that their equipment is at the hospital or office and that person should make an appointment.  Attorneys do something similar – make an appointment.

But, when asked, what do I do? 

I answer the question.  I will spend a considerable amount of time helping someone that asks me a question – and often fail to also suggest that they make an appointment to get additional information or aid from me.

3:  Great networkers know that they can talk business even in social situations. 

I come from an era where women have been rigorously trained to not mix business with pleasure.  Indeed, I can remember several example of being chastised because I attempted to do that. 

4:   Networking in general.  The custom is to learn about what the other person does and offer to help them – and then respond to their question asking what you do.

So what happens to me?  I spend the time learning about them – and for reasons that are inexplicable to me – most of the time they fail to ask me what I do – and (shame on me) I don’t offer it because I don’t want to appear pushy.

So – in conclusion -  I need to learn to take my own advice.  I need to practice being more assertive in “asking for the order” and all elements leading up to it 

What about you?