Getting in Your Own Way

Have you ever looked back at something you were trying to obtain – but failed and recognized that although you know better, you didn’t do what was necessary – what you knew you should have been doing – and thus didn’t get what you sought? 

I have.

I think this blog might easily be re-named:  How I get in my own way.

Let me give you a few classic examples, of things I did wrong or failed to do. Maybe they will trigger your memory of things you need to do better too.

1:  Any sales course emphasizes the importance of asking questions designed to get your potential buyer to reveal their pain points – so you can show them how your service/product can help to heal them. 

I know that! 

So, when recently meeting with the Executive Director of a Community Center, why did I spend the time “teaching” her about some of the background of the organization she just joined?  I used up the time allotted for the meeting without either learning from her about her immediate consulting needs – her pain points – and so, of course I couldn’t ask for the order.

2:  Medical doctors have it easy – they can decline diagnosing someone in a social setting by mentioning that their equipment is at the hospital or office and that person should make an appointment.  Attorneys do something similar – make an appointment.

But, when asked, what do I do? 

I answer the question.  I will spend a considerable amount of time helping someone that asks me a question – and often fail to also suggest that they make an appointment to get additional information or aid from me.

3:  Great networkers know that they can talk business even in social situations. 

I come from an era where women have been rigorously trained to not mix business with pleasure.  Indeed, I can remember several example of being chastised because I attempted to do that. 

4:   Networking in general.  The custom is to learn about what the other person does and offer to help them – and then respond to their question asking what you do.

So what happens to me?  I spend the time learning about them – and for reasons that are inexplicable to me – most of the time they fail to ask me what I do – and (shame on me) I don’t offer it because I don’t want to appear pushy.

So – in conclusion -  I need to learn to take my own advice.  I need to practice being more assertive in “asking for the order” and all elements leading up to it 

What about you?

Diamond's to YOU: October, 2010

Hi What a busy month. In addition to teaching and seeing clients, I’ve been busy speaking here and there – something I love to do. I’ve also spent a fair share of time on Facebook, trying my best to stay in touch with friends and to do a little professional networking. This month I am going to add the facebook link to this newsletter (as soon as I figure out how to do it properly.)

Calling Cards/Business Cards

It’s amazing to discover that there are a number of people who are job seekers, or networking professionally and yet don’t have their own business/calling cards. Now that their boss isn’t paying for it, they fail to get themselves a card, which is so essential when meeting new people and wanting them to contact you.

In the old days (before my time, of course!) people carried calling cards. When they stopped by to visit, they would drop their card in the tray in the entry way of the home or business they were visiting. In that way, their host/hostess would know that they’d been by to visit.

Business people always have a card with all their contact information on it. Why not purchase your own card when you are not provided one by your employer? When you decide to have cards made, please don’t be cheap. Cheapness shows. You don’t need to get the most expensive type of card made, but the cheap ones make you look as though you can’t afford anything better. Your card (business or calling) is a reflection on you. Make it a good one.

“Every man builds his world in his own image. He has the power to choose, but no power to escape the necessity of choice.” Ayn Rand “Every person is the creation of himself, the image of his own thinking and believing. As individuals think and believe, so they are.” Claude M. Bristol

Non-Profits and Lexus

What a party! What a concept! What a great gift!
Tonight (Wednesday the 20th) I attended a party given by Lexus Auto in Santa Clara. My friends the DuBois (John, Donna and LaDonn) were the organizers – and according to John, LaDonn did 95% of the organizing and work. I don’t doubt it, knowing her energy and devotion to detail. The party was fabulous. Lots of great food, entertainment, and a superb venue.

I enjoyed seeing some old colleagues and some close friends as well. Mingling was easy because of the way the space was set up. Plenty of room to move around and also a lot of scattered comfortable seating. The food was everywhere. Not only were there food stations, but the wait staff walked around frequently with the tastiest of treats. Of course I blew my diet.

The concept: Lexus is sponsoring an on-line community calendar so that all the non-profits in the area can schedule their events with a minimum amount of overlap on dates. I only hope that it gets well used, and not abused. One of the suggestions I made to a Lexus official (Hi Tim!) was that they find a way to avoid having organizations double and triple book to save tentative and then unused dates.

The gift – well, in addition to holding the party on their rooftop and sponsoring the free flowing food and drinks, Lexus has offered to allow non-profits free use of their roof top for events and also free use of some of their conference rooms for smaller events. My hat is off to Lexus – and to LaDonn DuBois as well as Donna and John.

Seven Ps to Management Success

When preparing for my talk to CSIX, I developed these points. My talk focused on trying to explain to my audience what CEOs were actually wanting and needing when considering hiring.

Yes, of course education, technical skills, etc., are necessary – but in order to think about succession planning, CEOs are concerned to find people who have the necessary soft-skills (interpersonal relationships – communication) to be promoted into management. CEOs look for people with good communication skills, personality, ability to be motivating and creative. They also want A players in A positions.

So, my Ps are: 1. Personable 2. Pleasant 3. Polite 4. Patient 5. Presentation (skills) 6. Persistent 7. Persuasive  

Managing Effective Virtual Meetings

Here are some of the ideas I presented in my talk to the Santa Clara Valley Leadership Association of the National Management Association.

When pre-planning your meeting some of the things you ought to consider include: • Is this meeting necessary – or can e-mail or a phone call do as well?
• How much time do you really need? Informational, a small amount of time. If emotional or creative, more than the typically allotted one hour is better.
• Where should the meeting be held? What time (consider time zone differences)
• Do you have the right people in attendance? Why are they needed?
• What about technical aids – like Skype, Go To Meeting, etc.
• Agenda: Always produce an agenda and supply it beforehand, allowing people to suggest additions and changes. Preparing the people who are expected to contribute to the meeting:
• Do they already know each other? Have they worked together before? • If not, find time before the meeting to let them chat together and learn a little about each other.
• What about the cultural and communication style differences? Are there people who you want to contribute who for whatever the reason don’t speak up in a group or public setting? If so, how can you work with them to get their best ideas? Some observations on Cultural Differences:
• Universalism (decisions based on rational goals – in theory at least) - Particularism (decisions heavily influenced by relationships)
• Individualism (US) v. Communitarianism (the community)
• Rational v. Emotional – Different thinking styles
• Attitudes toward time and Aging