Onvestigating a Complaint in the Workplace

Topic Title:  Investigating a Complaint in the Workplace

Background:  Years ago, when children complained of being sexually abused, they were disbelieved and ignored.  When, in the eighties professionals realized that many of these allegations were true.  Trying to protect children they coined the phrase:  “Children Don’t Lie, Or if they do, they don’t lie about this.”  Thus all complaints were accepted as true even if the allegation was that the abuse had happened more than ten years prior to the complaint. 

Fast forward to now.  Thanks to some of the people involved in the #Metoo Movement we are now demanding that if a woman (and sometimes a man) complains of having been sexually abused they are automatically believed.  It is considered bad form and intrusive to question the complaining person. 

When doing evaluations of these allegations in the business world, we are told, over and over again that the complaining woman (and sometimes a man) is promised confidentiality and the alleged perpetrator has no right to face his accused.  Investigations if they are conducted at all  - are all too often conducted by a biased person who is looking only for evidence to support the complaint and the potential evidence to the contrary is ignored – or else that person is called a liar. 

Having “second opinioned” many of these poorly conducted investigations, I wrote the book:  Conducting Workplace Investigations: Designed Investigator. 

Getting in Your Own Way

Have you ever looked back at something you were trying to obtain – but failed and recognized that although you know better, you didn’t do what was necessary – what you knew you should have been doing – and thus didn’t get what you sought? 

I have.

I think this blog might easily be re-named:  How I get in my own way.

Let me give you a few classic examples, of things I did wrong or failed to do. Maybe they will trigger your memory of things you need to do better too.

1:  Any sales course emphasizes the importance of asking questions designed to get your potential buyer to reveal their pain points – so you can show them how your service/product can help to heal them. 

I know that! 

So, when recently meeting with the Executive Director of a Community Center, why did I spend the time “teaching” her about some of the background of the organization she just joined?  I used up the time allotted for the meeting without either learning from her about her immediate consulting needs – her pain points – and so, of course I couldn’t ask for the order.

2:  Medical doctors have it easy – they can decline diagnosing someone in a social setting by mentioning that their equipment is at the hospital or office and that person should make an appointment.  Attorneys do something similar – make an appointment.

But, when asked, what do I do? 

I answer the question.  I will spend a considerable amount of time helping someone that asks me a question – and often fail to also suggest that they make an appointment to get additional information or aid from me.

3:  Great networkers know that they can talk business even in social situations. 

I come from an era where women have been rigorously trained to not mix business with pleasure.  Indeed, I can remember several example of being chastised because I attempted to do that. 

4:   Networking in general.  The custom is to learn about what the other person does and offer to help them – and then respond to their question asking what you do.

So what happens to me?  I spend the time learning about them – and for reasons that are inexplicable to me – most of the time they fail to ask me what I do – and (shame on me) I don’t offer it because I don’t want to appear pushy.

So – in conclusion -  I need to learn to take my own advice.  I need to practice being more assertive in “asking for the order” and all elements leading up to it 

What about you?