ArLyne's Diamonds

A running commentary of ideas

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Decision Making Disputes

Isn't it strange to you that grown adults would personalize disagreements, rather than seeing them as different perspectives about issues or values. I always thought it was only junior high school girls who were so afraid to accept someone's point of view if it was different from their own.

I find in my board of directors and executive team training that even grown adults get upset and decide not to speak to someone with whom they have a business disagreement. The underlying message seems to be that we all have to play nice and agree with each other all the time. Someone even mentioned "The Eleventh Commandment" which apparently means, "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all."

This is clearly The Tyranny of Pleasantness, about which I am writing.

How can we make better decisions in life if we are unwilling to learn from others - how can we learn from others if they cannot freely speak their minds - and when they do - we feel attacked and fail to listen to what they say?


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