Bullying & Intimidation - or Misunderstanding?

He was well over six feet tall with a ruddy complexion.  When he became emotional, his face would turn beet red.  He was smart, kind, and would never knowingly try to intimidate anyone. Let’s call him Jack.

She was a petite Asian woman just over five feet tall.  She had been raised in a family and culture that was outwardly docile and tried to  never show emotion.  Let’s call her Jill.

Although Jack and Jill didn’t walk up a hill together, they did have to work together on the same team.  Jack was in charge.  Jill, new to the workplace had never worked with an Anglo-male before.  Her only prior supervision was from a family friend, an Asian woman who was also soft spoken. We’ll call this supervisor Mary-Jane.

Jill wasn’t the best of workers.  She was spoiled and did what she wanted, when she wanted and as fast or slow as she wanted.  Jack was frustrated because he had deadlines to meet and she was slowing the project down.

He invited her to his office, intending to find out what was slowing down her end of the project.  She came in and he stood up – his intent was politeness.  She froze.  She thought his standing was a deliberate attempt at bullying-intimidation.  Gathering herself, she started to walk out the door – rather than coming in and sitting down, which was clearly his expectation. 

He raised his voice.  His face became red.  He really wasn’t yelling at her – his raised voice was a reaction to his surprise.  Of course she didn’t see it that way.

She ran out of the room.  She ran to her friend and former supervisor.  She told her side of the story:   Jack was trying to deliberately bully me!   Mary-Jane offered support.  Gave Jill al hug and vowed to see to it that Jack was properly punished for his bullying behavior. 

No one spoke to Jack to try to get his side of the story.   Jack was terminated due to what was termed a violation of company policy.  No due process.  No attempt to learn what his behavior might have meant other than Jill’s interpretation of it. 

I knew Jack.  I’d seen how he managed and treated people because I was consulting to his prior company at the time he was working there.  As I said at the beginning of this story, he was a kind and thoughtful man who would never deliberately intimidate or bully anyone.

Jack lost his job – a job he really loved.  Why?  Because no due process.  Because as happens all too often, the woman is automatically believed and if there is any investigation at all (and there wasn’t even the pretense of one in this situation) it is almost always a biased one looking only for supporting evidence and ignoring anything that might paint a different picture. 

That’s why I wrote my latest book:  Conducting Workplace Investigations:  Designated Investigator.

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