Emotionally Disengaging from the Conflict
Thus, they had to learn how to change their own reactions to the other person(s). The male/female differences came into play during the discussion - most of the men were comfortable just ignoring the situation and "getting the job done." The women had more difficulty even contemplating disengaging.
No matter how "equal" we might be - men are more concerned with the game and women with the relationship of the people in the game. Yes, yes, this is just a genralization, don't attack me for it.
Emotionally disengaging means letting go of your frustration, jealousy, guilt, and poor me in exchange for more peace of mind. The lack of competence or caring of the other person shouldn't affect your mood - or your work for that matter.