Cosntructive Confrontation
This is a phrase Andy Grove used at Intel. Coming from an East European Jewish background, it comes from the manner in which Torah and Talmud are studied. It allows for the Jewish student to question, argue, offer divergent points of view. The belief is that not only does this style of learning teach you to think for yourself, it also allows for new perspectives.
We seem to be able to disagree with out political leaders - we are especially good at taking on our Presidents, but are chastised when we disagree with friends, relatives or neighbors. In our zeal to "go along to get along" we agree with decisions that are just plain wrong.
We even agree with decisions that hurt us - decrease our property values, increase our utilities bills, etc. And, those of us who dare - yes, dare - to question, are called malcontents who don't recognize how much our board are doing for us. Guess you realize by now, I'm having a disagreement with the board of my townhouse complex.
What have you learned about disagreement? Can you respectfully do it without losing the relationships? I hope so. I really hope so.
We seem to be able to disagree with out political leaders - we are especially good at taking on our Presidents, but are chastised when we disagree with friends, relatives or neighbors. In our zeal to "go along to get along" we agree with decisions that are just plain wrong.
We even agree with decisions that hurt us - decrease our property values, increase our utilities bills, etc. And, those of us who dare - yes, dare - to question, are called malcontents who don't recognize how much our board are doing for us. Guess you realize by now, I'm having a disagreement with the board of my townhouse complex.
What have you learned about disagreement? Can you respectfully do it without losing the relationships? I hope so. I really hope so.
Labels: Constructive Criticism
posted by ArLyne Diamond, Ph.D. @ 5:22 PM
1 Comments:
At 4:59 PM,
Anonymous said…
"Respectfully" is the operative word. Often we think we're being appropriate when criticizing another's ideas or actions, but our choice of words or tone of voice says, in essence, "You're an idiot." This is why many confrontations—whether domestic, professional or political—end up in verbal fisticuffs rather than in some kind of understanding or resolution.
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